Every morning driving into work, I have a chat with God. These conversations have taken various forms over time, but recently each of my car chats with God begins with expressing gratitude for the day before and ends with expressing “advanced gratitude” for the graces God will inevitably give me throughout my day ahead.
This particular day, however, the first part felt forced and ingenuine. I was struggling at the end of a difficult week, and my interior struggle was not being helped by the exterior struggle of my aging minivan puttering along through bumper to bumper traffic. Noticing yet another traffic light out ahead that would inevitably delay me further, I suddenly just stopped and said: “God, I hope it’s okay that I am having a bit of trouble with our usual routine today. It’s not that I am NOT grateful for things, I am. But I just feel a bit defeated right now both inside and out. I’m not sure all the work I have been doing to try and be the person you are calling me to be is actually leading anywhere. I feel… stuck. Tell me, should I just let this particular fight go and accept what is?”
Then, having laid it all out for God so God knew what I was feeling inside, I went back to my usual routine determined to finish anyway: “Today, I’m thankful in advance for… an obvious sign of hope.” Then, I drove the rest of the way in silence.
The defeated feeling inside of me persisted even as I finally got to work and sat down at my desk with my Starbucks coffee close at hand. As I reached for my coffee to take a sip, I noticed something unusual - stuck on the white, venti cup was a nondescript light gray sticker that said simply “Keep Going!” Almost in spite of myself, I smiled. It was a full body kind of smile that lit me up from the inside out.
Maybe that sticker was there when I picked up my coffee from the mobile order station earlier that morning, but if it was, I had not seen it. I feel like I would have noticed it there. After all, I always check the cup’s label to make sure I’m not accidentally taking someone else’s drink. It might have been one barista’s attempt at subtly bringing light to a random customer’s day, but regardless of how it got there - it felt like such a clear answer to my earlier desperate plea to God.
“Keep going.”
I am guessing I am not the only one who is finding it difficult to “keep going” right now, to persist in moving forward in whatever they’re trying to do. Maybe it’s the usual second month of the year slump where the initial drive to attain one’s new year goal has faded, but I think it’s something more than that, at least it is for me.
The difficulty I am having with persisting comes from the lack of immediate evidence that my efforts have merit. There is a lack of daily evidence that my efforts are really doing anything at all to change my reality or the reality of those around me. It seems like there is quite a bit of evidence that things are actually going in the exact opposite direction of my desired path.
Yet still, the message is “keep going.”
So, how can I do just that and honor the response that God so clearly gave me?
- First, I can keep open the line of communication between me and God and keep praying for the grace of perseverance. I can pray not just for the grace of perseverance to keep working on my individual goals but also the grace of perseverance in hope that these efforts will result in incredible things ahead.
- Second, I can take the next right step and then the next right step after that. To be honest, it is difficult for me to not take large leaps hoping I can somehow force my goals to come to fruition faster. Though experience tells me that large leaps, especially those I force, lead to mistakes and setbacks more often than not. So, I can choose to heed the message to “keep going” by doing so one step at a time and inviting God to take those small steps with me too.
- Finally, I can focus my attention on those who have exhibited the grace of perseverance and learn from their example. Like St. Ignatius who despite numerous setbacks along the way, persevered in becoming the person God was calling him to be and, through that perseverance, led me 500 years later to attain all the tools I needed to do the same.
What about you? What grace(s) do you need to keep going?
Going Deeper:
Read two additional blog posts from Gretchen:
Photo by: Daria Nepriakhina on Unsplash
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Gretchen Crowder
Gretchen Crowder has served as a campus minister and Ignatian educator for the Jesuit Dallas community for the last fifteen years and counting. She is also a freelance writer and speaker. She has a B.S. in mathematics and a M.Ed. from the University of Notre Dame as well as an M.T.S. from the University of Dallas. She resides in Dallas, TX with her husband, three boys, and an ever-growing number of pets.
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