Hope in Listening to the Spirit - Savoring Graces

Summer arrives with heat and humidity, half-day Fridays, concerts in the park, and spectacular thunderstorms dancing with lightning across the lake. I remember childhood—escaping to cool basements in the afternoon to play games with my sister and neighborhood kids. “The Game of Life” was a favorite in our tween years. Deciding who went first, who got which car, and who got to be banker was an enthusiastic warm-up for the many decisions that followed. With a spin of the dial and whims of the action cards that moved us through life stages, we hotly debated whether the one with the most money was really the winner—or not.

Fifty years later, I wonder about some of the values embedded in our games. Yet I also notice how we were anticipating life as a journey filled with decisions that make a difference. Along the way, I’ve learned that decisions aren’t ‘once and done.’ Inevitably, one decision leads to the next. Sometimes even a good decision needs to be reconsidered in light of new information.

St. Ignatius became a master of discernment—a process leading to good decisions. He offered his Spiritual Exercises to provide a pathway for the progress of souls, making life choices that would help a person live joyfully for the greater glory of God. An image that I carry with me from my 40-day experience of the Exercises at Loyola House (Ignatius Jesuit Centre, Guelph, ON) is a statue of St. Ignatius the Pilgrim, leaning into the wind, about to take his next step.

Sometimes, like Ignatius, I am pushing forward into a strong headwind. Sometimes the wind is at my back. Sometimes the wind lets up under clear skies, only to surprise me with a strong crosswind or a swift microburst that knocks me off my feet! Practicing prayerful noticing of the ways God is loving me in fair weather cultivates a source of hope when storms strike.

St. Ignatius includes a prayer known as the “application of senses” in the Spiritual Exercises. Taking time at the end of a prayer period to savor a particular moment of grace in my imagination—using all my senses—helps in different ways. Day to day, savoring special graces fills me with gratitude, strengthening the memory and securing it within me, making it available down the road to remind me of God’s faithfulness and love when I am struggling.

A grace received during a retreat thirty years ago offered such a touchstone. I bring to my mind and heart a vision of Planet Earth held gently by God. Slowly, the Earth becomes me in those soft, tender hands. My heartbeat slows as I breathe in Love. An appreciation for God’s goodness grows. I become conscious—like St. Paul—that both the joys and the challenges of life are a gift (cf. 1 Cor. 4:7; Eph. 2:4–6). Then my prayer moves from gratitude to a sense of freedom and a desire to give in return—to love, to serve.

In a time of discernment, when I’m trying to figure out how best to love and to serve, noticing affective responses that occur during prayer helps illuminate the next best step to take. As Jesus and I consider (or reconsider) a decision, is my heart racing or at a relaxed, steady beat? Am I breathless in the face of beauty and truth? Or am I holding my breath in fear?

St. Ignatius wrote that “God’s love calls us to move beyond fear. We ask God for the courage to abandon ourselves unreservedly, so that we might be molded by God’s grace, even as we cannot see where that path may lead us.” If I’m not yet feeling peaceful and settled, I pray for courage as I continue to ponder.

Watching for indications of which way to go, I remind myself I don’t need to see everything—just the best next step to take. It’s okay if discernment doesn’t provide all the answers I think I need before making a decision. I find the last line of Fr. David Fleming’s paraphrase of the Principle and Foundation helpful. Each day “our only desire and our one choice should be this: I want and I choose what better leads to God deepening [God’s] life in me.” Knowing that this is also God’s desire gives me hope. Whatever decisions I make, God is with me on the journey.

Going Deeper:

• Sr. Joyce Rupp, OSM, says, “Hope doesn’t pretend that I’ll get all I want nor does hope deny that there will be struggles down the road. Hope tucks promises of growth and truth inside the pockets of my struggles.” (Dear Heart, Come Home) Spend some time in prayer noticing and savoring promises of growth and truth, beauty and compassion, peace and love, that you want to tuck away to remember during stormy weather.

• Take a Walk to Emmaus with Into the Deep contributor Liz Aceves, encountering Jesus with you on the way.

• Learn more about the application of senses with Fr. Joe Tetlow, SJ, and trusting our senses with Sr. Dr. Gemma Simmonds, CJ.

Photo by Ignatius Jesuit Centre, Guelph, ON

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Jenéne Francis

Jenéne Francis is an aspiring contemplative in action who finds writing creative non-fiction and short fiction a fruitful spiritual practice. She also enjoys adapting and offering the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius for days of reflection and retreats. Jenéne recently retired from the Midwest Province of the Society of Jesus after many years supporting Jesuits and colleagues who serve retreat houses, spirituality programs, parishes, and as hospital chaplains and other pastoral ministers. Having spent her first career at the Procter and Gamble Company in product development and manufacturing, followed by more than 20 years in Jesuit ministry, Jenéne gets great satisfaction offering her engineer’s head and poet’s heart for “the greater glory of God.”