Resisting Jesus – Resisting Easter

I have a confession to make. I resist the Resurrection.

Sometimes, I resist the very thing I begged God for in prayer.

I can think of multiple examples of asking God for things such as the ability to forgive or let go of a wound. Then a moment comes where I have the choice to offer forgiveness or release the pain, and I resist the opportunity because it is way more comfortable to keep holding the familiarity of the hurt.

Countless times I begged God for courage to speak up against an injustice I see or for the courage to stand in my call. The door opens, and I am overcome with fear again, and I am tempted to retreat back to the safety of silence or the comfort of hiding in the shadows.

One time (ok, more like a dozen times) when I moved to a new city I prayed for help developing new friendships, and then ran from opportunities to take the risk to engage in conversation with someone new.

Sometimes, I get stuck at the tomb.

When loss or major transition occurs in my life, I turn to Jesus who understands suffering and who I believe companions us through it. As new life begins to unfold, I can sometimes be like Mary Magdalene, and desire to keep hanging out with Jesus as he recently offered himself to me at his cross and tomb.

I can resist the invitation to also know Jesus as the Risen Christ, the one who overcame death and offers the promise of new life. It takes a posture change to welcome a new way of being in the world when I have become familiar with grief and the feeling of loss. I resist at times comfortable in what is familiar to me, even though I really want out of it.

Sometimes, I am afraid of the transformation the Resurrection asks of me.

At the core of my resistance is the fear the Resurrection will ask too much of me. I can lack faith in believing that God is big enough to help me step into a place of freedom and total surrender into God’s hands. Transformation is scary, and it requires letting go of old ways and turn fully into the Mystery of new life in front of me. Resurrection can feel confusing and scary and also full of hope and joy. It is a disorienting time when signs of Resurrection first appear in our life.

So what can we do to work with the Holy Spirit to overcome our resistance to the Resurrection?

Weep like Mary Magdalene did. It is ok for us to weep over what is no more. Jesus will ask us, like he did Mary Magdalene, “Why are you weeping? Whom are you looking for?” As Jesus draws near to the transition from loss into new life, he will help us find our way forward.

Pray like doubting Thomas did. When Thomas first caught wind of Jesus’ Resurrection, he doubted. Thomas did not fully believe that Resurrection was possible. When Jesus appeared to him and he saw, he cried out, “Lord, help my unbelief!” We, too, can ask for the grace of deepened belief in Resurrection happening in our life.

Fish like Peter did. After Jesus’ death, Peter went fishing again. He engaged in the familiar and old ways. Jesus encountered him in his attempt to return to an old way of life. Jesus invites him to cast anew. Peter fished on the other side, and Jesus surprised him with a haul of 153 fish brought on shore. We, too, can cast anew as new life begins to appear. Jesus will surprise us also with unexpected fish brought on shore.

We are in good company.

When we resist the Resurrection unfolding in front of us, we join a long line of Saints who also doubted the Risen Christ’s invitation to new life. Their witness of leaning into the Resurrection despite their own resistance shows us there is hope for us also. The same Risen Christ that encountered Mary Magdalene at the tomb, Thomas to show his hands and side, and Peter while fishing encounters us every day.

May we weep like Mary Magdalene, pray like Thomas, and fish like Peter this Easter season!

Going Deeper:

Pray: Journey with three Resurrection stories this week in prayer

• Mary Magdalene: John 20: 1-18
• Thomas: John 20: 24-29
• Peter: John 21: 1-14

Read Hoping against hope

Read: Four Things to Remember if Life Doesn’t Have you in Easter Season

Photo by Anuja Tilj on Unsplash

Becky Eldredge

Becky Eldredge is an Ignatian trained spiritual director passionate about inviting people closer to Christ. She does this by accompanying people as they navigate deep waters of their faith lives through spiritual direction, writing, retreats, and as founder of Ignatian Ministries. She is author of two books: The Inner Chapel and Busy Lives and Restless Souls. Becky is part of the Archdiocese of New Orleans Spirituality Center teaching staff where she trains spiritual directors in the Ignatian tradition. She lives in Baton Rouge, Louisiana with her husband and three children.