Encountering Holy Desire—Finding God in the Longing

This past June, I attended my first eight-day silent retreat. I had previously participated in four-day silent preached retreats, but I knew this experience would be different. If I’m honest, I arrived with a bit of anxiety. I would be away from my family for more than a week, something that felt especially difficult because I help care for my aging parents.

As I settled into the retreat house, the words of my spiritual director stayed with me: “This is your time with Jesus. Be open to where the Holy Spirit will lead you.” Those words became an invitation to let go of my expectations and simply be present.

As the days of silence unfolded, I found myself slowing down. Without the distractions of everyday life, I had more time to pray, reflect, and simply be with God. It was in that quiet that I began to realize there was a deeper longing beneath all my questions.

The Scripture that accompanied me throughout the retreat was Jeremiah 29:11–13. While I prayed with the entire passage, one verse that resonated deeply was: “When you seek me with all your heart, I will let you find me.”

At first, I thought I was seeking clarity. I wanted to know what was next, what decisions to make, and what the future would hold. Yet, through the silence, God gently invited me to ask a different question:

What is my heart truly longing for?

As I prayed with that question, I discovered that beneath my desire for answers was a much deeper desire: to trust God completely. I wasn’t simply longing for certainty about the future. I was longing for the peace that comes from knowing I am never walking alone.

The questions I carried into the retreat didn’t all disappear. What changed was the way I carried them. I left without a detailed roadmap for the future, but I returned home with a deeper confidence that God would walk with me wherever the path led.

While my retreat gave me the space to notice what God was doing in my heart, you don’t have to go on an eight-day silent retreat to receive the same invitation. God meets us in the ordinary moments of our lives. Whether it’s during your morning prayer, a quiet walk, or simply a few minutes of silence before the day begins, God is always inviting us to pause, listen, and seek him with our whole heart.

One of the beautiful gifts of Ignatian spirituality is learning to notice the movements of our hearts. Rather than ignoring our deepest desires, Ignatius invites us to bring them into prayer. Sometimes our desires reveal not only what we long for, but also where God is already at work. My deepest longing was not really for answers. It was for a relationship with God rooted in trust.

As I continue to reflect on my retreat, I find myself returning to Jeremiah’s words. They remind me that God is not waiting for me somewhere in the future after I have everything figured out. God is already present in the seeking. The invitation is not to have all the answers but to seek him with my whole heart.

Perhaps you, too, are carrying questions about your future, your family, your health, or your vocation. Before asking God for answers, pause for a moment and ask yourself:

• What is my heart truly longing for?
• What might that longing reveal about where God is already at work in my life?
• Am I seeking answers, or am I seeking God?

You may discover, as I did, that beneath your questions is a deeper desire, one that God has lovingly placed within you. And perhaps the greatest gift is not finding every answer, but finding God who has been waiting for you all along.

Going Deeper

• Settle into your own quiet time of prayer. Explore the reading found in Jeremiah 29:11-18 and hold it with the questions above. What does God reveal to you?

• Learn to listen to God through the desires of hearts with the guide, The Discernment of Spirits: An Ignatian Guide for Everyday Living by Timothy M. Gallagher, O.M.V.

• God can be found in all things, even within our desires. For more insight into discernment and paying attention to the movements of the hearts, explore The Jesuit Guide to (Almost) Everything by James Martin.

Photo by Liz Aceves.

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Liz Aceves

Liz Aceves is a retreat facilitator and spiritual companion whose ministry centers on creating spaces for people to encounter God through prayer, reflection, and community. As Community Coordinator for Ignatian Ministries, Liz helps lead and organize virtual prayer groups, spiritual book clubs, and retreat offerings that support individuals in deepening their relationship with God. She also serves on Ignatian Ministries apostolic board committee.

She has co-facilitated Advent and Lent retreats, both virtually and in person, and she finds great joy in accompanying others on their spiritual journeys through the prayer practices of Ignatian Spirituality. Liz’s own spiritual life has been shaped by the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius, which continue to ground her in ministry and prayer.

She is currently pursuing a Master’s in Pastoral Studies through the Loyola Institute for Ministry at Loyola University New Orleans, further deepening her formation and commitment to lay ministry as a Catholic school educator with a decade of experience teaching Spanish. Her love for working with children and teaching them about their faith and language has been a constant source of inspiration. Liz believes that learning a second language is essential in fostering acceptance and understanding among people of different cultures. Liz lives in Los Angeles with her husband and two sons and enjoys reading, hiking, and traveling.