Christ Has No Voice But Yours - Claiming My Voice in Christ

Claiming My Voice in Christ

I can still see her standing there blinking in the bright lights of what felt like a massive stage.

I can still see her standing there just fifteen years old, skinny and awkward with stretch marks on her legs from growing too much too fast just the year before and a shock of curly hair she never quite knew what to do with sitting atop her head.

I can still feel every bit of the anxiety that threatened to overwhelm her as she blinked again and again in the lights just trying to remember her first line.

When I was fifteen, quite out of the blue, I entered a speech contest. “Out of the blue” was kind of how I did things back then. I remember practicing the story over and over again in my mirror at home in the days leading up to the contest. Like anyone I suppose, I was really good one-on-one with my mirror. By the morning of the contest, I had convinced myself: “I was made for this!”

The first round was in a small room at the college where the contest was being held. It was just me and a few judges. It felt almost as comfortable as my mirror. I passed onto the second round which would take place a few hours later, this time on one of the college’s bigger stages. I remember clearly the first thought that passed through my head as I stepped onto the stage that afternoon: “Why did you think you were made for this again?” Still, I had to follow through. So, I cleared my throat and began to tell the story one more time. Later, after I found out I had not placed, I received a copy of the judges’ comments. It said: “Her voice was just too small for the bigness of the piece she had chosen, let alone the stage she stood on.”

Her voice was just too small for the bigness she had chosen.

I think about that girl on that stage often. I smile with pride at her for her audacity. I also feel every bit of her restlessness as she tries to find and claim the big voice she just knows she has somewhere deep inside. I wish that fifteen year old girl knew what I know now.

To truly claim my voice, I had to start by knowing and internalizing that I was deeply loved and purposefully created by God. From the messy curly hair to the stretch marks that exist to this day, I have come to know, particularly through my engagement with the Spiritual Exercises, that every piece of me is loved as it is. Even more than that, I have come to know that I was indeed created for some unique purpose and given a unique voice that God wants me to use. When I speak from that place of purpose, rooted in the unconditional love of God, my voice is anything but small.

Do I still feel like that girl on that stage who has the fleeting thought of “What am I doing here?” whenever I claim my voice in a new way? Yes, all the time. In fact, even as I sat writing this story down, I felt just like her wondering: “Is this really the story that needs to be told? Will telling it change anything for anyone?” Whenever I feel that doubt welling up in me, I pause and remind myself that wherever I stand, it is never alone. I pause and remind myself that whenever I open my mouth to speak out of love, it is not my voice alone that fills the room. I pause briefly, breath in Christ’s presence, and I use my voice.

To extend the prayer attributed to St. Teresa of Avila:

Christ has no voice now but mine.

Christ has no voice now but yours.

And our voices, especially when utilized together, are anything but small.

So, are we willing to claim them and then use them together to boldly continue Christ’s work in the world?

Going Deeper Together:

• We all have gifts and a voice. Are you still discerning yours? Read a previous blog post by Beth Knobbe, The Need is the Call - How Does God Want Me To Use My Gifts for some helpful tips on recognizing and responding with those gifts.

• Stay informed regarding upcoming self-paced or professional development courses to learn more about discernment, gaining clarity regarding God’s call in your life and as a result, be more confident about claiming your voice in the world.

  • Consider taking the self-paced online retreat, Overwhelmed No More (or revisiting it if you have taken this course. All self-paced courses remain in your Teachable library.) and learn how to center your life around God using daily prayer to gain clarity regarding God’s call in your life. We will be releasing an updated version of this retreat in early June! Fill out our interest form if you would like to be informed when it is available on the website. For those who have the current version, we will let you know when we have moved you to the new version!
  • Next Fall and Spring Becky will be teaching two new courses on the First and Second Set of Rules of Discernment, which will help us as we listen and discern the call of God in our life, in big and small decisions that we face. Click here to add your name to get an email as soon as registration is open for either course.

• We welcome your comments after reading our blog posts. Would you like to share your thoughts? Please share in the comments section on this page.

Can you help us?

We are so glad that you like Into the Deep! This blog is offered at no charge as a way that Ignatian Ministries lives its mission to accompany those who are called to a deeper faith. Through Ignatian retreats, resources, community, and more we help you hear God’s voice, embrace the companionship of Christ, and live your unique mission in the world.

Are you willing to be part of our community that keeps our blog and other programs going and available to those who might not be able to afford to participate in a retreat? Learn more and donate here.

Photo by Vika Strawberrika on Unsplash

Gretchen Crowder

Gretchen Crowder has served as a campus minister and Ignatian educator for the Jesuit Dallas community for the last fifteen years and counting. She is also a freelance writer and speaker. She has a B.S. in mathematics and a M.Ed. from the University of Notre Dame as well as an M.T.S. from the University of Dallas. She resides in Dallas, TX with her husband, three boys, and an ever-growing number of pets.