Christ Has No Voice But Yours - Using My Voice to Say No - or Not Again

Using My Voice to Say No - or Not Again

An old friend wanted more from me, last week, than I was willing or able to give. Sigh. I am not a person who usually knows her mind right away. Overthink, me? I make decisions by weighing my options, doing intense research, and careful vetting. Afterwards, I usually reconcile with my choice. As a result, boundaries can be hard to establish.

I approach boundaries as a consideration, not as a done deal. Weighing options, doing my research and vetting, usually means that the boundary is still open-ended. I don’t usually say no right off the bat. I will likely first say ‘yes or okaaay……’ needing more time to draw a line.

What does this say about me? I often wonder if it means I’m too soft or indecisive. Yet, before I get too introspective, I need to affirm that, right or wrong, this is my modus operandi. The slower, wait-a-minute-before-I-decide fits with who I am. There is space in my discernment of where I land, and I have to acknowledge this tendency to deeply process.

How does an adamant no or not again surface in me? Not by tightening my fists, spreading my feet, or standing with rigid, unbent knees, not clenching my jaw, swelling my chest, or holding my breath - which are often part of my interior processing - but by using my voice. Injustice and inequality are definite realities that draw forth my voice in an adamant NO.

Elie Wiesel was a devout, Jewish boy arrested with his family in World War II. They were transported to Auschwitz where he was separated, almost immediately, from his mother and little sister, both of whom he never saw again. Elie and his father were directed to the men’s barracks where they tried to survive. His whole worldview was shaped by those early years as a child prisoner. After being rescued by the Americans, he wrote many books and spoke to many groups about the experience of being held captive by hate. In one of his books, Night, Elie makes a statement which resonates strongly. He takes a stance through this statement. He draws a line; he creates a boundary based on experience.

“Never let anyone be humiliated in your presence.”

I have shared, in previous blog posts, that I spent almost 20 years in religious life. I joined right after high school and surrendered any other future than the one that God seemed to be calling me toward. Though the particulars of my story are different from many other people’s, human experiences are very similar at their core. In religious life, and many people generally believe this about religion as well, conformity is essential. The stripping away of attachments, preferences, and personal perspectives is necessary to build a new narrative in each person. Recreating a sense of self within the arena of what constitutes a good religious woman is a process not fully anticipated by the neophyte, herself. Humiliation was a daily experience; there was a subtle understanding that humility was the goal.

I remember once, I was called to publicly put a group of younger sisters ‘in their place,’ to teach them a lesson. I could not hold my tongue, nor my voice, and participate in the unnecessary humiliation of these women. Perhaps, you too have been encouraged to engage in behavior that felt completely contrary to what you knew to be right and good. We are challenged to draw a line, to create a boundary, just like Elie Wiesel.

Yet, what strikes me even more is that using my voice to say no or not again, gives Christ a voice. Christ has no voice but ours. There is no presumption that we are better than anyone else; saying no doesn’t imply that. It just means that here, at this juncture – whatever juncture our discerned boundaries have set for us - there is no question that Christ compels us to speak with his voice. That with ONE voice we call his light into a conversation or reality that may originally be one of darkness.

This is hard work. It is the work of a lifetime. It is a conversion process initiated and sustained by God’s Spirit. In our flawed and broken, yet gloriously beautiful world, we cannot eradicate every situation that calls for our voice. Adopting a ‘hermeneutic of grace’ can shift our outlook. Hermeneutics is the process, or the tools used for interpreting something. The lens I use matters. Give grace? Receive grace. See good in others? Your own light will shine. May we have the courage to use our voices to say no or not again. In doing so, we say YES to something much bigger than we are by ourselves. Our collective voices resonate with, and amplify Christ’s, and that is everything!

Going Deeper Together:

• When you feel wrung out by difficult decisions or a tough stance you’ve had to take, listening to Avi Kaplan sing, All is Well, can help.
• Let Becky accompany you through a Guided Examen that reviews the day the ways you gave voice
• Our friend, Kathy Powell, writes with great clarity on a moment in her life when she knew exactly what to give voice to, and what to let rest a while. Read her post Celebrating Moments of Clarity: Right for Right Now
• Mary Ann Gessner shares with us some teachings of St. Ignatius which, when applied to saying no or not again, may help discern a better response in her post Embracing Our Greater Yeses: The Wonder of God

Thank you!

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Photo by Debby Urken on Unsplash

Monique Jacobs

Monique Jacobs has been engaged in professional active ministry in the church for 40+ years, offering workshops, retreats, and writing. She accompanies people in these roles, and as a Spiritual Director, using Ignatian methods and spirituality. Her joy is to serve as mentor and companion to others, highlighting their gifts and helping to build up the body of Christ. Monique also hosts a YouTube Channel: Finding God in All Things, new videos posted weekly. Monique serves as the Director of Mission and Identity for Catholic Charities of Northern Nevada. Subscribe to Monique’s YouTube Channel, Finding God In All Things.