I have always loved the ocean and any water imagery that allows me to imagine or hear the waves, feel the sun, the wind, and the foamy surf as if encouraging me to come in—to go deeper. Looking back now, I realize I didn’t have the chance to visit the beach often, but the memories I do have hold a place of primacy in my mind, heart, and spirit since childhood. Aspects of the ocean have constantly served as reliable metaphors that help me interpret movements in my spirituality. I find them guiding me now toward my own Anchor of Hope, which holds me safe in the deep waters of my life.
Storms are coming as we enter hurricane season where I live, and those storms wreak havoc on boats in the water. I see myself among them. My father was a sailor, and he taught me that anchors are essential, but they can’t do the job on their own. It is the chain or the heavy rope that quietly holds the tension between the boat on the surface and the anchor on the sea floor. We might only see a few feet of the chain after the anchor is dropped, but it is often up to seven times the depth of the anchor below. Its weight allows the anchor to sink into the mud and hold fast. Its length allows the boat to remain steady on the surface—in storm or stillness.
This series prompts us to consider our personal Anchors of Hope. Previously, the writers have offered theirs and helped me consider my relationship to God: in silence deep enough to listen, in encouragement to remember God’s faithfulness in my life’s difficulties—even when I know I rival the whiny desert wanderers ignoring of God’s faithfulness, and in realizing that my morning coffee, while I pray and write, has become a sacramental to savor.
Spiritual direction is my anchoring chain. I often wander, feel lost and alone, as I try to find my way. I need a person to show me light when I am unable to see in that darkness, to sit with me in stillness in the complications and pain of life. My relationship with a trained spiritual director is a grace that holds me secure, helping me to see where I am and where God is guiding me.
I had heard of spiritual direction over the years but never knew much about it, nor thought it could be possible for me. Ignatian Ministries changed that. Hearing spiritual direction mentioned, seeing them model it in writing and presentations, I came to realize how much I wanted this…I knew I needed and wanted a companion/guide to help me on this spiritual journey. Who this person was—and how to find them—remained a mystery.
St. Ignatius tells us to “ask for the grace you seek.” It took a long time for me to summon the courage to ask someone—whom I assumed was too busy—if she would be my first spiritual director. I was hopeful for a “yes” and worried the answer would be “no”. To my relief, she did say yes, and that began a journey that has helped my spiritual life grow and go deeper.
My spiritual director listens with the Holy Spirit to my experiences in prayer and life; my insights and concerns are heard. Speaking aloud the movements of my heart helps me hear them differently and interpret them with new insight. Just as God draws me closer, there is the reality of the spirit-not-of-God (snoG) trying to move me into waters designed to distract, discourage, and divert me away from the love I seek. My director is a filter for my concerns and a guide to help me interpret the movements in my prayer and my life. She names progress I am unable to see because I am too close to it all—too tired or too fresh from the experience. This reflective relationship offers clarity and a safe space to consider and accept the Sacred in my life. Her presence in our meetings offers sustaining comfort in desolation and shares with me the joy and peace of consolation with gratitude.
Though spiritual directors are companions on our journeys—much like a lighthouse—sometimes there is a change. We can be led to new companions on different journeys. I have had two directors over the past seven years and several surprising changes in my life’s direction. I have found that faithfulness to the work of spiritual direction has given me support to grow in my desire to pray and the courage to go deeper in my relationship with God and God’s plan for me. I am not alone. Linked by grace, the Holy Spirit provides what I need to be secure in whatever waters I find myself.
Spiritual direction is, first and foremost, about our relationship with God. It is important to find someone with whom we are comfortable, and whom we can trust, bringing our most authentic selves in all the ups and downs of life. But the relationship with the director is not the main purpose. How is this person helping me to grow in my relationship with God?
Spiritual direction is the chain that holds me and allows me to go deeper into my relationship with the Holy Spirit, my life’s anchor. There, in the deep waters of God’s love, I have experienced the transformational journey Jesus promised when he reached out his hand and said, “Follow me.”
Going Deeper:
-
If you are curious to know more about spiritual direction and how it might be incorporated into you life, read about other shared insights on the topic:
-
If the idea of spiritual direction is calling you, I encourage and pray that you say “yes” to that call. Learn more about beginning spiritual direction here.
-
Watch this video from Becky Eldredge about How to Find a Spiritual Director.
-
Take time to reflect in gratitude for your supports in life, with this Prayer for My Village by Kathy Powell.
-
Spend time in prayer with this reminder in song that you are not alone. God is with us and offers us the gift of spiritual direction to help us.
Photo by [Samuel Arkwright on Unsplash](Photo by <a href=%22https://unsplash.com/@arkiesam?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText%22>Samuel Arkwright on <a href=%22https://unsplash.com/photos/a-close-up-of-a-chain-with-a-boat-in-the-background-wZzK0zGCvlI?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText%22>Unsplash)
Thank you!
The “Into the Deep” weekly blog is a free offering to live our mission of accompaniment. If someone forwarded this to you, please be sure to sign up at the bottom of this website page so that you receive an email each week with the new blog.
Comment!
If something our writers shared resonates with you, please feel free to write a positive and uplifting comment by scrolling down to the bottom of the page.
Support Us!
You can help support this free offering with a small monthly donation! Your recurring generosity enables us to continue building our home of accompaniment. If you would like to donate, please do so here.
Mary Ann Gessner
Mary Ann Gessner has worked with all generations as an art teacher, in Nursing Homes as Recreation Director, Social Services and Admissions Director and Administrator. She was the Director of Admission with a focus on international student recruitment for St. Johnsbury Academy and holds a BA in Studio Art and Art Education from the University of Bridgeport, CT and a M.S.A. from St. Michael’s College in VT. Since retiring in 2015, Mary Ann enjoyed the gift of time to nest, quilt, and cook. This gift of time became more intentional and led to Ignatian Spirituality via the Inner Chapel and Becky’s Overwhelmed No More retreat and the 19th Annotation of the Spiritual Exercises. Mary Ann is an Ignatian trained spiritual director in private practice, a CPE trained Interfaith Chaplain and is applying her love of storytelling as a writer. Her two sons have moved gracefully into their adult lives with their families. Mary Ann and her husband still live in the log home they built almost 50 years ago in the woods of Sheffield, Vermont.
Comments
Loading comments...
Leave a comment