Witness of Hope - People Who Help You See Yourself As God Sees You

Most of the time, we only catch a dim reflection of who we really are—like looking into a foggy mirror. But every so often, someone sees us clearly, in ways we cannot see ourselves. A fifth-grade teacher, a spiritual director, and even a roomful of strangers at a sobriety meeting have each done that for me.

They saw me as God sees me, and it helped me do the same for others. What does that mean? Think about the people who have truly seen you—not just your surface, not just your mistakes—but the creation of God you are, shortcomings and all. How did that change you?

To be seen fully—even in our flaws—is freeing. It is hope-giving. It tells me I don’t have to be perfect to be loved. I’m grateful for the many people who have truly seen me. Here are three human beings who changed my perspective and helped me learn to see as God does.

When I was in fifth grade, my teacher once told me that I didn’t always work to my full potential. I’d heard that before, so I began to see myself as “the kid who doesn’t try.” In my mind, I saw myself as a slacker.

Then one day, she pulled me aside and said, “You’re a pretty good writer. Keep up the good work.” Those words created a crack in the label of slacker. Maybe I wasn’t just lazy. Maybe there was more to me than I had believed.

Over the years, my spiritual director called me out every time she heard me trying to minimize myself. Unconsciously, I thought I was being humble. Instead, I was afraid to accept and live into the call I’d been given. I was afraid to trust in my God-given abilities. My spiritual director saw this and worked patiently with me until I could see it too. I started learning what true humility is because she saw me for who I could be—alongside my imperfections.

Another transformative moment came when I attended a recovery meeting where a young woman picked up a desire chip (that signifies a desire to quit drinking). The room erupted with cheers. When I asked why there was such a grand celebration for this one individual, I learned that she had tried and failed at sobriety many, many times before.

What struck me most was how the other alcoholics loved her—not because she had succeeded, but because she had failed and kept trying. Their acceptance offered me a real-time image of God’s unconditional love for us. In that moment, I began to see myself as worthy of being loved—not because I was perfect, but simply because I was his.

The artist, Norman Rockwell understood perspective well. In his Triple Self-Portrait, he captured this essence of perspective beautifully. In the painting, Rockwell sits atop a stool, back to the viewer, peering into a mirror with clouded glasses. What he paints on the canvas is a much younger, more handsome version than what the viewer sees in the mirror he is peering into.

Rockwell illustrates three perspectives: how he sees himself, how he presents himself to the public, and how he thinks the public sees him. It’s a reminder that our self-image is often distorted—limited by our own flawed perspective—and rarely matches the fuller truth.

The scripture in 1 Corinthians 13:12 describes this phenomenon well:

“For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known.”

That verse holds the greatest hope: to be fully known—to be seen as God sees us.

Sometimes, he gives us people who catch glimpses of us through his eyes, and when they do, they can change the way we see ourselves forever.

A teacher helped me see that how I was seeing myself was limited.

A spiritual director challenged the way I was unconsciously presenting myself to others.

A room full of recovering alcoholics helped a suffering soul know that not everyone in the public domain saw her as hopeless.

Three witnesses of hope—and because of them, I begin to believe what God already knows to be true about me, his beloved. And from the well of his love, I draw from it to offer love to others.

Going Deeper:

• Consider praying with this reflection to allow yourself to sit in the gaze of God: Using Ignatian Contemplation.

• Read Understanding Our Identity for another resource to explore our self-image and how God sees us.

• In the struggle with the perspective of how God views and loves us, read A Loved Sinner for an insight gained through the Spiritual Exercises.

• Pray with the following Scriptures and allow the loving gaze of God to be present to you:

  • Psalm 139: 1-4
  • Jeremiah 1:5
  • I Samuel 16:7

Photo by Simion Andreea-Marina on Unsplash.

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Jean Heaton

Jean Heaton is a blogger, writer, speaker, teacher, and a workshop and retreat leader. Both her husband and son are in long-term recovery, and she has worked her own Twelve Step program for those affected by the addictions of others. Jean is the author of “Helping Families Recover from Addiction.” She shares her experience, strength, and hope with others at www.jeanheaton.com.