Companioning with Christ's Last Words - "It is Finished"

I was sitting towards the back of the sales pavilion watching world-class racehorses be auctioned off for hundreds of thousands of dollars. It was not my first time here. As the wife of an equine veterinarian (horse doctor) and a native Kentuckian, I’d sat in this room once before, while my husband was at a conference.

This time, I came with the intent of starting the process of fulfilling a lifelong dream: to write about my life experiences as the vet’s wife. I sat in a row with only one other person, a few seats down from me. With a notebook and pen, I began describing the room, the people in attendance and the sales process. The man sitting in my row, had his arms spread out across the backs of the chairs in front of him huddled over his companions, pouring over the sales catalog.

I’d driven up that morning through hard pounding rain. I wondered, is this a sign that I shouldn’t be doing this? I began to pray, “Lord, please show me your will. I don’t know if you want me to do this. I want to do your will, but I am going to need your help in seeing what that looks like.” Doubt kept inserting itself into my thoughts, who am I to try to write this book when I only have one previous book on such a wildly different topic?

The man and his party got up to leave the room. He smiled and spoke to me as he left. When they returned, he went a few rows in front and walked back up to his seat, to avoid disturbing me. When he looked in my direction, I said, “You’re welcome to come down the row next time. I’m just here to observe.”

He scooted down next to me. We exchanged introductions. He was there to buy a racehorse with his brothers. I told him that I was there to begin the process of gathering information for a possible new book. He asked me what I’d written before. As often as I am asked that question, it always catches me off guard. I felt my body tense up. I realized that I was holding my breath as I gathered the courage to answer his question. Perhaps it was a way of armoring up while waiting for his response.

My first book was written for families who have been affected by the addictions of others. Since the stigma of addiction still exists, sometimes the topic of my book makes people uncomfortable. More often though, the reaction is one of kinship because of the epidemic nature of addiction.

Still, I could feel my body go into protection mode as a silent prayer asked for the right words with which to respond. “I write about dealing with addiction as a family member using the 12-steps and Ignatian spirituality.” I said. The man stayed silent for a moment.

His face had a look of disbelief as he leaned over to me and whispered, “My son is in recovery.” I felt myself exhale. “And you’re not going to believe this…” He stopped and looked at me intently, stunned as I would be later at the improbability of our encounter, “but next weekend, I’m booked for a silent Ignatian retreat.”

This week we are companioning with Jesus’ last words, taken from John 19: 28-30:

After this, when Jesus knew that all was now finished, he said (in order to fulfill the scripture), “I am thirsty.” A jar full of sour wine was standing there. So they put a sponge full of the wine on a branch of hyssop and held it to his mouth. When Jesus had received the wine, he said, “It is finished.” Then he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.

Biblical scholars tell us that the word that Christ uses is actually ‘tetelestai’ that comes from the verb, ‘teleo’ meaning something a little broader than finished or ended. It translates into something closer to accomplished. The meaning suggests that something was unfolding or being directed towards a purpose and it had attained its goal and been brought to fulfillment.

As I walk with Jesus during this period of Lent and consider my own purpose, I often use the Triple Colloquy to help me keep my mission clear. In the Spiritual Exercises, Ignatius asks us to enter into a conversation or colloquy. It is a fruitful exercise that helps us mine for the truth of who we are and what we hope to do.

The triple colloquy is an exercise where we have a conversation with Mary, the mother of God Jesus, while sitting at the foot of the cross and with God. The focus of our conversation rests on (3) questions:

* What have I done for Christ?
* What am I doing for Christ?
* What ought I do for Christ?

When I considered writing about our very personal story, dealing with addiction, I knew that this was what I was called to do for Christ at that time. Writing in a way that did no harm and yet offered hope to others required a lot of conversations (colloquies). It took God’s constant presence and guidance to help me walk towards the fear of that project.

With that difficult period behind me, it was quite a surprise when I began to feel the tug of my heart to write something new. This time, it would be something that I’d been dreaming about for a very long time.. But if I started this new project, would I be shirking my responsibilities associated with helping families that face addiction? Was it a selfish venture?

Ignatius tells us often, how loving God is. I am learning that my earthly mission does not have to be limited to the crosses that I carry. I can also create something that shares the beauty of his creation. Both good and not-so-good things exist together. My purpose is ongoing and evolving as I change.

I will never forget that trip to Kentucky. I knew that I could not approach this new project if it was not God’s will. When I am willing to let go of my will, God always surprises—especially if the end goal involves doing my part in the ongoing process of co-creating God’s world.

Christ faced his work in this world up until his last breath. Then he declared, “It is finished (accomplished).” As I continue to follow Christ, I will need to remember to ask those questions often until my earthy time is finished.

Going Deeper Together:

• Read about the Triple Colloquy as written by Becky Eldredge and Stephanie Clouatre Davis.
• Pray a Guided Triple Colloquy with Becky Eldredge.
• Read an article by Rev. Terrance Klein on “It is Finished”: The meaning behind Jesus’ last words on the cross.
• Reflect on the questions of the Colloquy that Jean presents for us. Share your thoughts or reactions to Jean’s blog in the Comments Section. We love to hear from you!

Photo by Francesco Alberti on Unsplash

Jean Heaton

Jean Heaton is a blogger, writer, speaker, teacher, and a workshop and retreat leader. Both her husband and son are in long-term recovery, and she has worked her own Twelve Step program for those affected by the addictions of others. Jean is the author of “Helping Families Recover from Addiction.” She shares her experience, strength, and hope with others at www.jeanheaton.com.