Drawn to Ignatius: Trusting In God’s Abiding Love

During our first Into the Deep blog series “Drawn to Ignatius” members of our writing team will tell us the ways Ignatian Spirituality has informed their lives, prayers, and their desire to go into the deep. Today Beth Knobbe shares the many things she has learned through Ignatian Spirituality.

Birthdays are a wonderful time to take stock of gifts and graces, and plant dreams for the year ahead! July is my birthday month, and this summer marks 25 years since I moved to Chicago – longer than I have lived anywhere else!

I live in a small condo on a tree-lined street with just enough space on my third-floor balcony for two flower boxes and a single tomato plant. I recently converted my dining room into a home office, and given the choice, I would spend all day baking in the kitchen! I am a teacher by training and a social justice advocate by profession. I do most of my writing from the oversized cozy chair that overlooks the trees outside my front window.

I find that I can be at home most any place, and a friend of mine is fond of saying, “Beth, you have a pilgrim’s heart.” I love to travel, and I believe that the journey is as worthy as the destination. I’ve stood in awe of the grandeur of God’s handiwork from the mountains of Nicaragua to the great cathedrals of Rome. But I’m more likely to tell you stories of how I’ve come to recognize God’s presence in the people, places, and circumstances along the way.

I was introduced to Ignatian Spirituality through Charis Ministries, who offer retreats and spirituality programs for young adults. While I am no longer a young adult, the tools and resources for developing a relationship with God grew with me, and my relationship with God sustained me through many changes and challenges.

Ignatian Spirituality has taught me many things:

• God will use everything in the natural and created world to grab our attention, show us the way forward, and showcase God’s love for us. I use Ignatian tools like the Examen to look back on the day (or year) to see where I have noticed, or perhaps overlooked, God’s abiding presence.

• I’ve learned to recognize the voice of God deep within my own heart. God’s voice often comes as a fleeting moment of clarity – like the quiet urge to extend an apology to a colleague, despite my reluctance to admit that I was wrong. I’ve learned to trust these subtle promptings, and to distinguish the small still voice of God from the shiny allure of evil.

• Through imaginative prayer and contemplating scripture, I have truly encountered Jesus’ presence in my own life as my healer, teacher, and friend. Jesus who went out of his way to encounter the poor, the marginalized, the sinner. Jesus who hosted a table fellowship that was radically inclusive of everyone regardless of wealth or gender or social status.

• Ignatius’ principles of discernment have guided me through significant career transitions, as well as small daily choices – like how to best support my community during the COVID crisis – calling me to be more of who God intends me to be.

Many years ago, a friend gave me a simple birthday gift that I’ve always treasured. It is a black and white refrigerator magnet with a quote from an unknown source:

Peace,

it does not mean to be in a place

where there is no noise, trouble or hard work.

It means to be in the midst of those things

and still be calm in your heart.

The world today may seem like a frightening place. We’re living through a pandemic, which has created an economic crisis, and revealed gross inequities in our society. It is in this context that the recent death of George Floyd, and countless other Black men and women, has sent forth a tidal wave of righteous anger at the pervasive racism in the United States.

As I join this team of writers, and we prepare to go Into the Deep, I hear God calling me deep into truth telling, deep into listening to the lived reality of our sisters and brothers, deep into acknowledging my own biases and blind spots, and deep into the long, hard work of reconciling relationships and creating more just structures.

It takes courage to enter into deep waters, whatever they may look like for you. I am trusting in God’s abiding love and returning to it each day in prayer. The tools of discernment are helping me sort out how I am being called to respond to the needs of the world. Despite my own confusion, I’m finding peace and calm, deep in the heart of God.

Thank you for being on the journey with us!

Beth Knobbe

Beth Knobbe is an author, speaker, and ministry professional based in Chicago, Illinois. She earned a Master of Divinity Degree from Catholic Theological Union and serves as a Senior Trainer with Catholic Relief Services, engaging Catholics in living their faith in solidarity with the poor around the world. Beth is an avid traveler and is passionate about her vocation to the single life. Beth is the author of Party of One: Living Single with Faith, Purpose, and Passion (2011) and Finding My Voice: A Young Woman’s Perspective (2009). Her personal blog can be found at www.bethknobbe.com.